It's the only way I know...
I think I've mentioned this before. I'm uncomfortable to express my dislikes, disappointments, any other negative feelings face to face... I prefer to write them down. When I write, I feel like whatever it is that's been bothering me is left on the piece of paper...and I'll be able to let it go or even better, forget about it..
It's the only way I know...
Here's the thing. I'm the kind of friend who tells everything to my friends. Whatever happened, happens or will happen in my life... I'll tell my friends... It's just who I am.
"My mom called. My brother baked some cookies. My dad is coming to KL. I think I wanna go out tomorrow. My friend is coming, so I'm meeting her tomorrow."
I tell them EVERYTHING. Everything that happen in every second of my life, I tell them. Why? They didn't ask, why did I tell them?
Because, my friends are a part of my life. Whatever happens to me, whatever emotions that I have, I wish to share with them... Is it wrong to share?
Here's the thing. I tell them everything..and I was hoping that they would do the same to me... I know it's stupid, wishful thinking... I know they're not me.. I know, not everybody likes to share everything with everyone... Sadly I know...
It's just that, sometimes I'm hurt. Despite knowing that everyone has different personality, despite of that, deep down, I just wish that they would share everything that's happening in their life with me, just like the way I am with them...
They rarely need to ask me where I'm going, what I'm doing... because I'll always tell them ahead, because I don't want them to wonder or worry about me.. so that's why, I'll always tell them ahead... But they don't do that to me..
They go wherever they want, they do whatever they want... and I'm here, wondering, clueless and knowing nothing.. they don't tell me. They don't share. And the bottom line is.. I'm hurt.
And what's more frustrating is that I can't stop myself. I feel like it's unfair. Unfair. I'm sharing everything, and I rarely get anything from them.. that's at least, how I feel... but, I can't stop sharing, telling, talking about stuff... I wanted to stop saying and telling them what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, what's happening in my life... I wanted to NOT share, but I couldn't... so again, It's unfair.. and I can't do anything about that!
Why wouldn't you tell me? Maybe it's not a big deal to you.. maybe its an unimportant matter.. but, you see.. whatever it is that you do, did or planning to do... If you would just let me know.. I'll appreciate it, very much! If you have plans with your friends, if your family called and asked you to go home, or if you went to a certain events during the weekends... Couldn't you share with me? Couldn't you tell me? Why can't you? Why do I always have to figure you out? Why can't you just tell???
You'd say, 'Because it doesn't concern you..'.
Am I right?
If you're reading this, if you think this post is meant for you... All I'm asking is, "How do you see me as your friend? Am I not important enough or good enough for you to share things with me? If that's not the case then, could you at least make an effort to share with me? You could at least tell me that you're going to your friends convocation today... if you did, then I wouldn't insist us to go to a movie today... I felt like I'm a selfish fool earlier in the class, I bet you don't know that huh? And yeah, I have a complicated twisted mind. I can't help it you know... It's my brain.
If you still don't get what I'm trying to say here... Just forget about it.
PS: Do not try to talk to me about this. Do not try to ask me whether it's for you. I'm uncomfortable. If you want to respond to this, write it on your blog, I'll read it. I'm sorry for this. It's just, I love our friendship, that's why I want you to at least know what I'm thinking and how I feel..
It's the only way I know...
Here's the thing. I'm the kind of friend who tells everything to my friends. Whatever happened, happens or will happen in my life... I'll tell my friends... It's just who I am.
"My mom called. My brother baked some cookies. My dad is coming to KL. I think I wanna go out tomorrow. My friend is coming, so I'm meeting her tomorrow."
I tell them EVERYTHING. Everything that happen in every second of my life, I tell them. Why? They didn't ask, why did I tell them?
Because, my friends are a part of my life. Whatever happens to me, whatever emotions that I have, I wish to share with them... Is it wrong to share?
Here's the thing. I tell them everything..and I was hoping that they would do the same to me... I know it's stupid, wishful thinking... I know they're not me.. I know, not everybody likes to share everything with everyone... Sadly I know...
It's just that, sometimes I'm hurt. Despite knowing that everyone has different personality, despite of that, deep down, I just wish that they would share everything that's happening in their life with me, just like the way I am with them...
They rarely need to ask me where I'm going, what I'm doing... because I'll always tell them ahead, because I don't want them to wonder or worry about me.. so that's why, I'll always tell them ahead... But they don't do that to me..
They go wherever they want, they do whatever they want... and I'm here, wondering, clueless and knowing nothing.. they don't tell me. They don't share. And the bottom line is.. I'm hurt.
And what's more frustrating is that I can't stop myself. I feel like it's unfair. Unfair. I'm sharing everything, and I rarely get anything from them.. that's at least, how I feel... but, I can't stop sharing, telling, talking about stuff... I wanted to stop saying and telling them what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, what's happening in my life... I wanted to NOT share, but I couldn't... so again, It's unfair.. and I can't do anything about that!
..........
Why wouldn't you tell me? Maybe it's not a big deal to you.. maybe its an unimportant matter.. but, you see.. whatever it is that you do, did or planning to do... If you would just let me know.. I'll appreciate it, very much! If you have plans with your friends, if your family called and asked you to go home, or if you went to a certain events during the weekends... Couldn't you share with me? Couldn't you tell me? Why can't you? Why do I always have to figure you out? Why can't you just tell???
You'd say, 'Because it doesn't concern you..'.
Am I right?
.........
If you're reading this, if you think this post is meant for you... All I'm asking is, "How do you see me as your friend? Am I not important enough or good enough for you to share things with me? If that's not the case then, could you at least make an effort to share with me? You could at least tell me that you're going to your friends convocation today... if you did, then I wouldn't insist us to go to a movie today... I felt like I'm a selfish fool earlier in the class, I bet you don't know that huh? And yeah, I have a complicated twisted mind. I can't help it you know... It's my brain.
If you still don't get what I'm trying to say here... Just forget about it.
PS: Do not try to talk to me about this. Do not try to ask me whether it's for you. I'm uncomfortable. If you want to respond to this, write it on your blog, I'll read it. I'm sorry for this. It's just, I love our friendship, that's why I want you to at least know what I'm thinking and how I feel..
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